The Beginning

I have tried to lose weight/keep it off for years now.  It is a constant struggle, except for the times when I just give up and don't care. Those are the times when I gain.  I decided that one way to make it easier, is to make it public. Then others can share my trials and tribulations. I think this blog might help people.  It may entertain people. In any case, I hope it helps me. I chose to use my first grade picture, because back then weight was not an issue. It was a simpler time.

Now, a little about me, I am 44 years old and I am currently about 81 lbs overweight.  I have two teenagers one of whom is also overweight. I am a single mother. I am an elementary school teacher and have a long commute during the school year.  I have many other challenges, all of which cause me problems with food and eating.

I have been on Weight Watchers several times. I have also tried Nutri System and had some success with it.  I stopped it, because I couldn't stand the way the food tasted anymore.  I tried Ediets, because it was all on-line, but for some reason, I thought this approach was too hard.  This was probably, because it involves too much cooking. I  tried Jenny Craig. Their food is really good, but it is expensive.  So, after awhile no more Jenny Craig. I tried Atkins and I think I gained weight, because I could eat bacon and butter and other high fat items. I loved what I could eat on Atkins, but it was not the diet for me. I also tried another diet that is run out of my chiropractor's office and it was great, except that once again, I started to have trouble with the way the food tasted.

I think the only way to lose weight realistically is Weight Watchers. Some of those other diet plans teach how to eat their food, but now how to eat real food. Now there is Weight Watcher's on-line. I don't have to worry about going to meetings and paying weekly. You pay a monthly fee and have access to all of their on-line tools.  I can use Weight Watcher's mobile on my smartphone. Now there are less excuses for me.

So here I am. I have been using Weight Watchers online off and on for the past year.  In that year, I was more off than on. I hit many roadblocks and when I hit them I tended to eat.  I am what is called an emotional eater.  I don't have to be hungry to eat. I could be sad, happy, frustrated, or annoyed. All of those feelings could, if I let myself, cause me to overeat. I am the heaviest I have ever been and that does not make me too proud of myself. I have more aches and pains and my clothes don't all fit right, etc. However, I know that I am a good person and that, above all else, is very important. When I look in the mirror, especially naked (Egads!) I look horrendous.  Therefore, I try not to look in the mirror from the chest down. I still see it in my face, but it is not as bad as in the rest of my body.

There are many disadvantages to being overweight, besides needing bigger clothes. For example chairs with arms are usually very uncomfortable. Folding metal chairs aren't comfortable to begin with and when you're heavy they're worse.  The driver's seat of the car has that part of the seat belt that digs in to your side while you are driving.  It is hard to paint your toenails. It is hard to pick things off of the floor. I spent the last two years teaching kindergarten and I noticed that during this past year, getting up off the floor was REALLY difficult.

I am not hoping to become thin.  I don't think that will ever happen. I have small, incremental, goals for myself that are realistic, for me.I have been diligently following Weight Watchers PointsPlus system since Monday and have already lost almost 3 lbs.  You might think that is a drop in the bucket, but in my bucket, it is huge. That means I only have 78 lbs more to go overall, but 2 lbs until I'm what I call "under a 10". That means that my weight will be under the closest factor of 10 to where I started. I'm not going to post my weight here. At least, I don't think I will. We'll see what other people think about that.

Being at home alone is hard enough, but tonight I am going to a restaurant and then to a friend's home.  Those two places will be even harder.  I have done my research and picked my entree for tonight. It is a crab house, but I am planning to order shrimp. No hush puppies, because they aren't worth the points.  So, I dread being faced with the menu even though I have previewed it on-line.  Then what will happen at my friend's house. I'm almost thinking of bringing my own diet root beer with me.  Diet Root Beer is satisfying and calorie-free. I know she'll be serving alcoholic beverages. Again, I'd rather eat my food then drink it.

I have discovered that some things about food surprise me. Mayonnaise is fat. Two tablespoons of mayonnaise is a lot. A serving of barbecue sauce is 1/4 cup. That is also a lot.  I bought popsicles, because it is summer and they are 1 point each.  They aren't ice cream, but ice cream is a very dangerous substance to have in my home. Some other foods can not be in my home. One of these is, surprisingly, frosted animal crackers. I am afraid of candy.  I love most candy and that is why I am afraid of it.  However, 3 peppermint patties is a serving. This is AWESOME! Sometimes it is all about the quantity. That is why 94% fat free microwave popcorn is also AWESOME!  I can have a whole bag for 3 points! Yay!

I started water aerobics on Monday night. I have gone twice so far. It meets Monday and Wednesday evenings, but it also meets Saturday morning, so I went Monday and then today.  I love water aerobics!  It is fun and no one cares what you look like.  I am going to try Zumba on Tuesday evening. We'll see how that is. I'm not very coordinated when it comes to dancing, so...It is supposed to be fun, also. I'll try to keep you posted.

I am not heavy enough for surgery, not that I want to go that route anyway, so I know that I have to do this myself. I know that I am capable of a lot of things including weight loss. You know that game show where they want "NoWhammies!". I want "No Roadblocks!"

Tomorrow, I am having a family gathering at a place than I recommended when I wasn't on Weight Watchers. Luckily, they have an on-line meal planner. Then on Monday, I am going to a movie (no movie food, probably) and dinner. I know I'll have to pick a Weight Watchers friendly place and they do exist.