UGH!

March has come and gone as well as April and May. My last post said that I was back. That lasted about a minute and when I was stressed, I went down the wrong path and now I am suffering from it. I am being literal here. Going up the stairs is getting difficult again and I am in a lot of pain. I am really mad at myself for getting back to this point. I know that is the wrong way to look at it and beating myself up won't accomplish anything.

I'm done feeling sorry and being mad at myself or at least trying to be.  I have to do this. I have to do this. Eating is not the answer to stress. I don't have a lot of time to write a long post today. I have a lot to do. Once again, I have to do this. I would appreciate all the support I can get. Next Saturday, our Farmer's Market opens. I can buy local produce. Yum! For now, I am going to be really careful about what and how much food I eat. This is a process and I know that. I think it is like an illness that needs to be treated.

Also, I have to fit in some exercise, as hard as that will be. I think that during the week, I do an awful lot of walking, but not so much on the weekend.

Society's skewed view on weight

I know I haven't posted in a super long time. I was going to talk about New Year's resolutions and I will, just not now. So from the title, you probably know what I am going to rant...er... write about. That's right- the media. I don't care where you go, unless you live under a rock, they are everywhere. These images of models, television stars, musicians and even an occasional political figure. Almost all of them are thin and/or in good shape. This makes it hard for the average person.

Those standards are too high. Thank you to the show Mike and Molly for showing two things. First, that not everyone is a stick. Second, large people can find love. Slowly, there is getting to be some others who aren't sticks that are in the media. Adele for example (side note: don't like her music) is not a stick. She is pretty, and she is a more normal size. There are more plus-size models, too. 

It would be great for young girls to have role models that aren't so thin that it makes them think they need to purge or abuse laxatives or other things to get a body that is like what they see everywhere.

As for me, I have been really stressed out from my job, been depressed, couldn't/didn't exercise for most of the winter. Now, I have an injury that is preventing me from getting back in the pool. Also, I've been eating candy. 

So in conclusion, I got on the scale this morning and was not happy to see that I had gained almost 6 pounds- 5.8 pounds. This morning I measured out everything. My other problem has been hunger. I hope I can get all of this under control, so I can climb back on the weight loss horse. That horse bares a striking resemblance to the money tree that grew when I planted that penny.