I Fell So Far Off The Wagon That...

First of all I would like to apologize to my followers who may have been waiting for my next post.

I have fallen off the wagon and have fallen under the wagon and it ran over me about a billion times that I am now in a gigantic hole. This hole is called stress due to teaching at a school that has not made AYP (Adequate Yearly Progress) on the state assessment. My school is in the second year of school improvement and I am teaching an unfamiliar grade. Then put on top of that the new evaluation system being piloted at my school that will eventually be statewide. Additionally, there is my 16 year old son who is not doing well in school.  Then there is my financial situation.

So at this time I have so much on my plate, I have a platter or as a good friend recently said, a buffet.

Needless to say, I have gained weight instead of losing it.

Stressed is desserts spelled backwards

I know I said that I would write every two weeks, but the problem is school happened.  I thought that it would slow down a little after back to school night and it did. Then we had to a self assessment and goal setting thing for the new evaluation system. This system is for the state of Maryland and, lucky me, Prince George's County Public Schools is piloting it.  Now after having some directions and some misdirections about how to fill it out, we have been given an observation date. We also have other due dates associated with the observation.  Strangely, the whole third grade has the same date and the same subject-reading or "the reading block".  Our AP needs 30 minutes.  She wants us to give her a 30 minute window, but we have to hand in very detailed lesson plans of the whole reading block.  Can you say stress? Can you feel my tight shoulder muscles? Just thinking about this makes me want to eat bad stuff.  Then I missed a professional development day due to the Jewish holiday and I find out that maybe I will not be observed this year.  I'm hoping...I don't know what I am hoping. Maybe it is better to get it over with. We still have to be observed by outside observers due to the fact that we are in the second year of school improvement. Thanks George Bush!

I was really good. I was not going home and eating. Well, I was eating dinner and usually a small dessert and popcorn.  Then I did it. I had a carb attack. This is similar to a Big Mac attack only in my house it means you eat a lot of crackers.  The greater problem with this was that I did this eating on Saturday night. I weighed in on Sunday and of course I had gained. Not a lot, but still...As of September 18, I had lost over 20 pounds since the beginning of July. Then I ate all of those carbs and I gained 1.4 pounds.  I ate some stuff I shouldn't have this past week like stuffing and chicken with the skin. I also ate a lot of challah from Trader Joe's (so good.)  All of that food was so good. Face it food is so good. Everything good is bad, etc. Did I tell you my results on the scale were not that bad?  I did not lose, but I also did not gain. Yay!  I need to get back on track.

I have discovered some things. I like lima beans. I also discovered kale. The kale I had at school was disgusting. The kale I had at home was really good. Justin helped me make kale chips.  He needs to not be in charge of the salt next time.  He also made some kale for the two of us and it was really good. Turnips are going to be next.  I have to widen my vegetable horizons. Also, Brach's makes sugar-free cinnamon hard candies.  I have heard a lot, recently, about Vita-Tops, but I haven't tried them yet.

As for exercise, the only exercise I get is walking to my classroom in the morning, back to the copier, to my classroom, outside to recess, from recess to the lunchroom, back to the lounge, to the cafeteria and so on. When I go home in the evening, I still have more work to do.  That is part of the problem right there. I usually do not leave until about 5:00 or so. The days I leave earlier are usually because I need to get my allergy shots or have some other similar appointment.

As usual, I would love comments here. I just want to know that people are reading this and that maybe it is helping someone (besides me.)

Too busy to eat?

We have only had two weeks of school and have yet to have a full week.  Today, as I write this, it is Labor Day, so once again. It will not be a full week.  For most of last week, I have not had enough time to eat all of the food I was supposed to.  I thought, great, I'll lose a bunch more weight like I had the past two weeks.  That did not happen. I only lost .4 lbs. I need to remind myself of two things:
1) I still lost this week
2) When you don't eat enough your body does not let go of the weight, because you go into "starvation mode".
The second reason is why diets don't work, because as soon as you go back to the way you were eating before, you gain all of the weight back and usually more. I am in this for the long haul this time. I plan to lose all of the weight that I need to lose and keep it off.

Besides clothing fitting better, and not all of my clothing has reached that point yet, the most remarkable change I have noticed is that I do not get out of breathe walking up the stairs.  That is a big change and if you know my house you know that it is full of stairs. When you come into my house you come in on the basement level. Unless you need to do laundry or clean the cat's litter box, you need to go upstairs to the main level of the house.

Now for the reason I called this post "Too busy to eat?". I did not think this was possible. I did not think I could be too busy to eat.  I was wrong. I make sure to eat a good breakfast. I pack a healthy lunch and snack. Then I eat my dinner. Whatever that may be.  Like today, I will have a Healthy Choice meal and the rest of my Brussels sprouts (with bbq sauce).  The problem has been that I had so much schoolwork to do that I never had time to go back and eat the rest of my dinner which usually consists of my dessert and my popcorn.  I did not eat all of my points and I wasn't all that hungry. I couldn't worry about eating. I had to get my work done for the next day.

This week will be different. I have more stuff ready for work this week. I will spend some time grading papers and making math groups to work on whatever they are having trouble with next day. I plan not to spend so much time at school everyday.  We are in week 3.  Yes, we are testing this week, so I need to cover stuff up in my room tomorrow. Seems silly, but you have to.  I can get the students to help me at the end of the day, possibly.

The other problem and why I think I did not lose this week is I hadn't exercised this week. I did discover the fitness programs on demand. This was thanks to Anonymous who posted a comment a couple of weeks ago. I have also been looking into the hours of the indoor pools.  The pool in Germantown has the most hours and the one in Gaithersburg is closed until the 12th, but the hours there aren't too bad (5:30-6:30 for lane swimming). If my children want to go with me, I will have to come home first, but I plan to have my swimming stuff ready to go in my pool bag.  I guess I need to decide if I will take a shower there, but I probably won't. I  will have to invest in a travel hair dryer so that I don't catch cold. I know what you are thinking, Having wet hair does not make you catch cold. Still...

We are in week 2 for this blog post and I am happy to report that I lost this week! I lost over three pounds this week.  So eating enough really does make you lose weight. I am down almost 20 pounds! I put on a t-shirt this morning and I did not have to stretch it out over my stomach like I usually have to.  Also, my shorts are fitting better,  I have lost weight in my face, too.

At work, we do not have time for a 30 minute duty free lunch. It is usually between 15-20 minutes, but I always eat the rest in the car on the way home.  At home, yesterday (Saturday) I had my rhythm going sitting at the computer doing my work for school and even though I set an alarm on my phone to stop and eat lunch, I kept hitting snooze.  I had to force myself to stop and eat.

I have discovered a couple of great things this week. One of them is Nabisco 100 calorie Mister Salty yogurt covered pretzels. They are very yummy and small, so you feel like you are eating more than you are.  Last night I bought Blue Bunny krunch lites ice cream bars. They are good, too.  Skinny Cow has the best ice cream sandwiches, though. Now Ben & Jerry's needs to come up with healthier alternatives that are not pint-sized. My son asked for ice cream, by putting it on the shopping list. I didn't get it, because I am still afraid to have it in the house.

My son asked for Chinese food last night. I said, "No", but I could have egg drop soup and steamed dumplings or something off the "diet" menu. I have to remember not to deprive myself of any kind of food.  Although, weird as this may sound, I don't miss it all that much. Maybe it can be once a year food (On Christmas-if you're Jewish, you know what I am talking about0.

I am still not able to exercise, but I am determined to change that. I will wait until after Back to School night to do anything about it.  After Wednesday, if I can get my act together and bring my swimming stuff with me. Oh, I don't know how I am going to do that, because I go to the chiropractor on Thursdays. Once again, I will take any ideas on this topic. I know about the fitness programs on On-Demand, but I really want to go swimming, because that is the exercise that I like.

See you all in two weeks. Sooner if I have time.

Another day, another fifty cents

So, I went back to work. The week of August 22, I worked 10-12 hours each day and wasn't sleeping that well. I also brought stuff home to do. I was so busy that I really didn't have time to be hungry.  I ate my healthy lunches and snacks. Sometimes the snacks were late, due to the extreme busyness that occurs when you are trying to set up a new classroom in a new grade level.

That Thursday, we had Famous Dave's for lunch. MajorYum, but not the best for a dieter. I had two ribs and a chicken thigh without the skin. I had a little coleslaw and passed on the corn muffin.  Earlier that week they served breakfast which I skipped, because I ate at home.  Then that afternoon there was surprise in cafeteria. The surprise was candy. I took six Hershey kisses and a couple of mini Three Musketeers bars, but I haven't eaten them yet. I didn't really want them.

I lost weight last week and this week!  However, according to Weight Watcher's, I am losing weight too fast. I have lost a grand total of 15.8 lbs since the beginning of July!  I have lost every week, too.  It is surprising to me that this has happened.

I have noticed that when I am working, I am not as hungry. This is probably because I am busy. When I am home I am hungrier, so it is harder to stay on track.  I try not to keep bad stuff in the house. Even the good stuff can be bad if you eat too much of it. I did finish a box of Archer Farmers eight grain crackers the other day when I was particularly hungry. They weren't chips, so I guess if I had to eat something that was better than what I could be eating.

So look for my posts every other week.

G-d only gives you as much as you can handle

First of all let me explain something about teachers (or at least elementary school teachers). We have four days of prep time to unpack an entire room and get all of the planning and copying done.  Therefore, many teachers go in the week before we have to report back to start getting things ready. So yesterday, August 8, I went to my school to bring some stuff back and to move furniture. I brought one of my sons along to help carry stuff and move stuff only to find out that I had no desks in my new classroom. Luckily, my desk and filing cabinet were exactly where I wanted them and those are the heaviest things (minus some other boxes) to move.  However, I was disappointed that I could not get more done. Having a kid with me also meant that I could not stay that long. I thought to myself, "No problem I'll come back tomorrow and spend a day getting things ready." I made plans with another teacher about when to come, etc. Then I checked my work email. I found out two things. I would not have access to my classroom on Tuesday. Also, when I went for the mandatory training on Wednesday and Thursday, we would have to leave at 2.  So I started to panic and become very anxious.  I tried different things to distract myself.  They worked. I did not stuff my face!  I went to water aerobics which helped me calm down. Yay!


This leads me to the title of this week's blog post. I am trying and trying to tell myself that I do not have to go crazy and eat everything to feel better about school starting.  I have lost a grand total of 8lbs.  That is two lbs. away from 10.  I have a long way to go, but each small increment is worth a lot to me.


There is one thing that bothers me, still. How am I going to fit exercising in to the mix? That was my problem before. I know that exercising has to be an appointment like any other appointments I might have. I want to take another class, but they may all be too late for me. I have to be asleep by 9. In order to get up at 5 and get to work on time or early.  I need to work on the time I leave work and be more organized I guess. I honestly have not figured this one out yet and will take any and all opinions on this topic.


My hours, technically, are 7:15-2:45 so I should have time to exercise, but in reality I do not leave when my time is up. The time with no students is not enough for anyone to prepare for the next day, grade papers, enter grades, make copies and do whatever else needs to be done. So therein is the quandary. I am going to try to be at work at 7:00, because the students come at 7:30 for breakfast. Again, 15 minutes is not enough time to do very much. I already get up at 5:00. I can not get up any earlier. Also, I am often exhausted when I get home.


I have explored several options so far. Joining a pool is one of them.  That is expensive and it is not available until 5:30.  I have been thinking about rejoining my gym (Curves).  It is a 30 minute circuit and optimally you come three days a week. I was one of the original 100 members when the club opened originally and that was the longest gym membership I have ever maintained.  Once again cost is a factor there.  I would like to walk.  I like walking. I don't like the blisters I got from my stupid Propet shoes, but I like walking. You can do it with other people or alone. I have a treadmill that I can use already for when the weather is bad.  So really there is no cost involved except for the shoes. I have already ordered new shoes to replace the other ones and they are on the way.


Walking is not going to be the way for me. My treadmill is toast and walking is too painful to want to do on a continuous basis. I'm going to have to keep swimming until the pools close for the season and then join a nearby pool. It's too bad the Y is gone from my area.  


My weekly progress was a little surprising, but in a good way. I lost three pounds this week and Weight Watchers warned me that I am losing weight too fast.  It was not my intention to lose three pounds.  I can not tell you how I did it, but being busy and still making good choices helps.  So my grand total is 11 pounds! Whoot!

This is only a test

This week I encountered some challenges. I went to three days of training where lunch would be served. I had no idea what I was going to have.  However, when the time came, I was able to make healthy choices. On the first day there was a choice of sandwiches or salads. I had a salad with water and gave the cookie away.  I had also brought some tomatoes, fruit and a crunchy sweet snack as well as some sugar free hard candy.  When we got back to the classroom, after lunch, there was candy on the table. I wanted the candy, but at the same time I didn't want it and I didn't eat it.  The next day we had the same lunch choices, but this time I chose the sandwich. It was a grilled veggie sandwich which I ate open faced. There was also pasta salad, fruit, chips and a cookie. This time I gave away the chips and threw out the cookie. I ate the pasta salad and the fruit. I also threw away the top of the sandwich. Again, I had brought healthy snacks with me.  On the third day, we had a hot lunch served buffet style. At the beginning of the line was rice. I skipped the rice and went right to the green beans. I filled half my plate with green beans, a large part of the other half with salad and then put some chicken with vegetables in the remaining part of the plate. There was cake for desert, but I went right for the fruit and filled a cake plate with fruit. Again, I had my snacks. I was feeling deprived so I ate my chocolate teddy grahams which were packed in a small container to make it appear as if there were more than 24. (I had also run out of small ziploc bags, so...) I like teddy grahams, because they are small and you can eat them slowly one at a time if you want. Also, there are 24 in a serving.  They taste good too.


I consider those three days to be a test of things to come. There was chocolate candy on the table every afternoon and I didn't eat any of it.  I fear going back to work. Not because, I don't want to go back to work and not because I don't want to teach a new grade. I am nervous about that, but I know I can do it.  What I am most nervous about when going back to work is the food.  There isn't a ton of food at work, but people bring things in and put them in the teacher's lounge.  Sometimes, we have lunch provided for us.  Again, I will not know what it is. It could be sandwiches. It could be pizza. It could be Famous Dave's. (Our principal loves to get us Famous Dave's)  So, I need to still make healthy choices and resist temptation.


The other "problem" is that going back to work is very STRESSFUL!  It is the nature of teaching. The beginning and the end of the year are crazy. This is all before the kids come and that adds another element to the mix, depending on the students you have. Last year's class was difficult behavior-wise. I loved all of them, but a lot of the time they drove me crazy. Some of them more than others.  For some, that would drive you to drink, but it drives me right to the Ben & Jerry's pints. (Has anyone seen the quarts? Double yikes!)


So now you understand my fear, and the testing I received this week, I passed with flying colors. The situation is different this week, so I hope that I don't fall under the wagon. There's falling off the wagon, which is easier to get back on, but under the wagon...I don't know.


Additionally, I had no water aerobics on Monday due to the weather (outdoor pool). Then on Wednesday, I was tired and it was drizzling. I decided to go for a walk. I put on brand new walking shoes which felt great when I put them on.  Walking is great exercise, but there is a reason why I prefer water exercise. That reason is arthritis in my back.  I tried to walk through the pain. This time I encountered a different problem and different pain. The shoes which has been comfortable initially, were hurting my toes and my bunion. I went as far as I could (about 10 minutes) and had to come back, because I was not "feeling the love" from my new shoes.  Now, I have blisters on my little toes and under my bunion. My bunion doesn't hurt and the blister doesn't hurt as long as you don't touch it.  I hope FootSmart will take the shoes back. I am not happy with them at all. (The shoes, not FootSmart.)


To make up for the lack of exercise, I went swimming on Friday and swam/walked for 40 minutes. I am still feeling the effects of that.


I did a preliminary weighing on Friday morning and was happy with the results, but I will post the real results tomorrow when I do my weekly weigh in.


Next week's post is probably going to be about exercising.


I lost 1.2 lbs this week despite not having water aerobics!  It really is all about the choices you make. 


My son (who I may have mentioned is overweight) wants to go out for breakfast. The problem with that is most places you go serve too much food. He wanted to go to IHOP. I can't imagine eating at IHOP now. It is just not a good choice for me. Then he asked me about Old Country Buffet which may actually be worse than IHOP. A buffet is very hard for someone who has food issues like me.  Then he asked if we could order Chinese food. Once again I vetoed that idea. Chinese food is not great for me either.  I am trying so hard to be good and want my son to be good also. My other son may be a lost cause, because he still likes only the kid food. He is not overweight, yet.  I hope he never become overweight, because he would really have to examine his food choices and he would probably starve, because he doesn't seem to like anything healthy with the exception of grapes, tomatoes, corn and peas and (oh yeah) american cheese (is that really cheese?)

Food is Not The Answer

Recently, I have found out some information about someone in my family that is really bad and I turned to my friend food.  The difference was this time I stopped myself before I ate too much. I did eat too much, but not as much as I would have in the past.  I also noticed that eating the food didn't help.  The only thing that helped is talking to family members about it. Although, I am not past this situation, I am trying my best not to use food as a comfort.


Food is supposed to be our fuel.  The nutrients in food is what keeps us alive and healthy. All animals and plants eat in their own way.  Sometimes we eat too much out of habit or for a number of other reasons. I am an emotional eater. That is how I came to weigh as much as I do.  Sometimes life gets hard and eating is an easy answer.  Although, really it is not an answer.


Sometimes I get tired of measuring stuff and I just want to eat how I used to. The only thing that I don't measure is vegetables.  As long as it is a non-starchy vegetable I can eat as much of it as I want.


I have recently discovered two helpful websites that could also be helpful for other people. They are http://www.dwlz.com  and http://www.myfitnesspal.com. They have information about foods and restaurants. The first site has listings of many restaurants and their offerings with the Weight Watcher's PointsPlus or Points calculated. That can help you make healthier choices.


Also, Applebee's has two really good salads with point values listed in the menu.


It's Saturday and I'll be weighing in tomorrow and I'll post my progress here. I ate an entire Domino's medium pizza this week, which I know was not a good choice, but I counted the points (20). One person told me that is a lot for one sitting. I know that. I was slipping back into old habits. Old habits are like comfy pj's. You want to keep them even if they are full of holes. Eating a whole pizza is "full of holes", too.


I weighed myself on Sunday and I was too busy to post yesterday. I really thought I was going to see that either I hadn't lost any weight or that I had gained weight. Surprise, I still lost last week! I lost .2 lbs.  I guess you could say I am a real LOSER!  I hope there is less of me at this time next week.


Starting tomorrow through Thursday, I will have to deal with lunch that I have little control over.  I am going to bring some of my own fruit and/or veggies and snacks.  That way I won't feel deprived and I won't feel hungry either.  This will be a real test. I hope I can make good choices. Send me your positive, make good choices thoughts. And as always, please comment here as opposed to on Facebook.

I know I can do it

Many of my posts are long, but this needed to be said. It may simplistic in nature, however for me it is an accomplishment indeed. As you know I am heavy. Not only that, but I had gained a significant amount of weight in the past year due to letting food be my comfort, my friend, my bandage, and my activity.  I knew this was bad and still know it is bad.  With this blog, Weight Watchers, and support from friends and family I know that I have to and have begun to change that.

There are things that it becomes difficult to do as your weight increases. One of these things is getting off the couch. This is not to say figuratively getting off the couch as in I'm heavy I have to stop sitting around and do something. It had become difficult to get off the couch. I own one couch that is kind of broken and it is physically difficult to get off of that one. Then the other couch or loveseat is very comfortable, and because of it's design, your feet don't touch the floor. So, I am already at a disadvantage, but now I am happy to say I can do it with a lot less trouble!  Also, it is easier to bend over and pick stuff up.  My stomach used to get in the way.

Yesterday, I was watching a show on OWN called something like "My 900 lb. Mother." It was very sad that no one got that woman some help to save her from herself. Sadly, it made me feel skinny in comparison.

I lost 2.2 lbs this week and according to Weight Watchers I am losing weight too fast.  I'm not sure what this means, but I did get more exercise than usual this past week. I am trying so hard to eat right and go to water aerobics.

One serving is what?!

And now a word from our sponsor...A few words on serving sizes. Sometimes a serving size is absolutely ridiculous. This is especially true when trying to lose weight, because if you take the whole bag or box into the living room with you, you will mindlessly eat a whole lot of Trader Joe's Salt & Pepper Ridge Cut Potato Chips. When really all you can have is seven. That's right a serving of these really yummy potato chips is seven chips. I thought, that was a silly amount so I took 14 potato chips.  I should have stopped and figure out the points, because if I had, I would have only taken seven.  Who eats only seven potato chips?

I bet I could write an entire blog post about ice cream. Whoever invented ice cream was really on to something.  Now you might be thinking, you are on a diet. You shouldn't eat ice cream. I am a firm believer in not excluding a food group. You have to include the ice cream food group even if you are trying to lose weight. Everything in moderation, right?  Suffice it to say, I do not keep ice cream in the house due to my ice cream addiction. I'm not sure if, technically, there is any scientific fact that one can be addicted to ice cream, but I am. Which reminds me of  Popsicles.  Apparently, Popsicle must be capitalized, so it must be like Jell-o.  I'll touch on Popsicles later.  Back to ice cream. A serving of ice cream is 1/2 cup.  If you measure that out, it is not very much. Who only eats 1/2 cup of ice cream along with your seven potato chips? Fat free and most low-fat ice cream is not that good.  Some things I can eat lowfat, like cheese, milk, yogurt and roast beef, but not ice cream. It is sacrilegious to eat low-fat or fat free ice cream (and seven potato chips).  If I am going to eat the ice cream, it needs to be the real stuff, otherwise I will not get rid of that craving.  So, I (once again) ate my son's Ben & Jerry's vanilla ice cream and loved it.  I also counted the points from it to the best of my ability.  I think it was about 18 points for the amount of ice cream I consumed. Oh well...sigh


Now back to Popsicles  So far, the Popsicles I have purchased have been low points. Jolly Rancher Popsicles are really good. I recently went to Trader Joe's and purchase Mango & Creme bars. They are only two points, however they are about 1" x 2", so they are really small and somewhat disappointing. I should have known better, because the box was too small to hold anything that my mind's eye thought should be in there.


A serving of peanut butter is 1 T which is a lot when you measure it. A serving of fat free salad dressing is 2 T which is adequate unless you like your veggies to take a bath in dressing. Then you are out of luck.


A serving of cereal is usually 1 cup which is fine with me with a 1/2 cup of milk and some fruit. Yummy...A serving of peppermint patties is three, although I am sure that is the small ones and not the big ones. A serving of meat is supposed to be about 4 oz. This is not very big, but you can then fill the rest of your plate with a baked sweet potato and non-starchy vegetables.  This can be a problem in my house, because I have one kid who will only eat corn, peas and tomatoes in the vegetable group and the other one will not eat corn or peas or tomatoes, but will eat brocolli. It is a dilemma, I tell you. Don't get me started on dinner in my house. Meanwhile, a serving of most vegetables is a cup, but vegetables are zero points on Weight Watcher's even if you eat more than a cup of veggies. 


Fruit is also zero points.  I haven't tried to see what would happen if I put in a ridiculous serving size of plums (a regular serving size is two), but I'm at the computer, so I'll try it now. Nope 20 plums is still zero points.  On the other side of serving sizes, who is going to eat 20 plums? And no, this is not a challenge for you. I take no responsibility for the consequences of eating 20 plums.


A serving size of eggs is egg. Only little children eat egg. I eat eggs. Don't you?  One egg is two points which lets me eat two eggs.


I love barbecue sauce. It is so yummy. Yummy, yummy, yummy!  Not as yummy as ice cream and I will not be putting barbecue sauce on my ice cream, because that is just gross.  At least it probably is...
Trader Joe's has many yummy things. I was at Trader Joe's a while ago and bought some barbecue sauce. That barbecue sauce's serving size was 1/4 cup. That is a lot of barbecue sauce until you buy a different kind.  Sweet  Baby Ray's serving size is 2 T. Why is there such a discrepancy? That is just weird in my opinion. I used 3 T the last time I used it on my brussel sprouts. I like brussel sprouts, but not enough to eat them plain.


I was curious so I looked up a Big Mac to see if a whole Big Mac was the serving size. Apparently, you can eat a whole Big Mac on Weight Watcher's and you spend 14 points.  In reality, I would advise against eating a Big Mac for the calories and fat alone.  A Whopper, Jr. on the other hand is only nine points and is (as I recently discovered) mostly bread.

 Since a Wendy's single is bigger it is also more points. Don't go there, because Wendy's sells salads. Yay. Unfortunately, since there is other stuff in there besides veggies, they are not zero points. 


I seem to be slightly obsessed with serving sizes, because I think that whoever thought of them was not thinking!


Let's not forget my progress, people. Despite eating the ice cream and the 14 potato chips. (And a whole bag of edamame chips.) I lost 2.6 lbs. this week!  


Last night, I ate at Red Lobster and made very wise delicious choices. No eating bland, boring food!  Also, no cutting out that very important food group mentioned above.

Food, Food Everywhere

Food is part of our society. You can't escape it, unless like that Geico commercial you live under a rock.
Sometimes food gets the better of me and I just eat. Like last night. I'm not proud of myself and I should've just gone to bed, but instead I at an entire container of honey cinnamon almonds from Target.  They had been in my cabinet for a week and I hadn't touched them.  Unfortunately, they were good.

I'm Jewish, so food is part of life. We have special dinners on the holidays. In this case the Jewish ones-Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippor. Then we also have a special dinner on that other Jewish holiday-Thanksgiving.  I know that is not a Jewish holiday, but it might as well be with the amount of food that comes out of it.

Almost every store you go in has food. Even Sports Authority has some things that are edible. There are, however, some things you can do to prevent wanting to buy everything you see. One thing you can do is to say to yourself, "I don't want to buy cupcakes that have red, green, orange and blue frosting. They are not worth the calories and they are weird-looking."  Another thing you can do is eat before you go to the store. I know that this is not always possible, but it really helps the impulse buying followed by the impulse eating of all of said item like a pint of Ben and Jerry's Everything But The...Sometimes, not recently, I have been known to go to the store to buy said item.  I can proudly say that I have not had ice cream since I started back on Weight Watcher's. I'll get back to me and my progress later. The last thing that I know of, besides having a friend hold you back from buying those technicolor cupcakes or white chocolate macadamia nut cookies, is to chew gum when you are in the store. I don't know why it works, but I was recently in CVS and it worked for me. I also had recently eaten dinner. So I was doing a double whammy on not buying the yummy candy that is strategically placed where you line up to check-out.

Another place there is food a lot is in the workplace. I'm a teacher, and for whatever reason if someone brings in food and puts it in the lounge, we will eat it. Whatever it is, it will be gone before the last lunch period. If it isn't gone, it's probably not good anyway.

Food is part of how we socialize. "Let's meet for coffee."  "Let's get together and go out for dinner."  We can't seem to meet with other people without food involved.  I think that is part of the human condition. This why I hate thin people. I don't hate you if you're thin. I just hate the idea that a person can eat and not gain weight. It isn't fair. When I was a little girl, I could have the second helping of chicken and kugel at Shabbat dinner. I always said back then that if I ever had to go on a diet it would be very hard, because I love to eat.

My progress is still progressing, but not very quickly because of doing some back-sliding and eating an entire box of iced animal crackers. I also recently ate that entire container of honey cinnamon almonds. Both of which were really good. I will no longer buy iced animal crackers. Not sure about the almonds. After all, they're almonds and aren't almonds good for you?

Sometimes I get weird cravings. Not what you are thinking. It's a food thing not a pregnant thing. (It would be immaculate conception, so you be the judge.) I crave bread. When I eat bread, it usually has to have something on it. Luckily, I had margarine, but if you are like me I do not eat one piece of bread or even two.  No, it can be much worse than that.  I will say that it could be more than four pieces, but less than 10. I'm sure you get the idea. You know it is kind of like eating an entire Domino's medium BBQ chicken pizza.

I have lost .6 lbs so far.  Ugh. That was discouraging, but I know that this is a battle. Within this battle there are many mini-battles like buying your son a Mickey D's milkshake and not buying one for yourself. I had a sip and it was good, but not as good as I thought it would be. That is one thing that I have noticed while trying to stay on this looooooooong road, when you are paying more attention to what you eat, you begin to actually taste your food. Some of it does not taste as good as I once thought.

Now a word on Weight Watchers. I love it. I think it is great. It gives me a direction. Lord knows I can not do this by myself. However, some days I wind up with points at the end of the day and I am not hungry anymore. Sure I could eat, but isn't that how I got to this point in my life in the first place?

The Beginning

I have tried to lose weight/keep it off for years now.  It is a constant struggle, except for the times when I just give up and don't care. Those are the times when I gain.  I decided that one way to make it easier, is to make it public. Then others can share my trials and tribulations. I think this blog might help people.  It may entertain people. In any case, I hope it helps me. I chose to use my first grade picture, because back then weight was not an issue. It was a simpler time.

Now, a little about me, I am 44 years old and I am currently about 81 lbs overweight.  I have two teenagers one of whom is also overweight. I am a single mother. I am an elementary school teacher and have a long commute during the school year.  I have many other challenges, all of which cause me problems with food and eating.

I have been on Weight Watchers several times. I have also tried Nutri System and had some success with it.  I stopped it, because I couldn't stand the way the food tasted anymore.  I tried Ediets, because it was all on-line, but for some reason, I thought this approach was too hard.  This was probably, because it involves too much cooking. I  tried Jenny Craig. Their food is really good, but it is expensive.  So, after awhile no more Jenny Craig. I tried Atkins and I think I gained weight, because I could eat bacon and butter and other high fat items. I loved what I could eat on Atkins, but it was not the diet for me. I also tried another diet that is run out of my chiropractor's office and it was great, except that once again, I started to have trouble with the way the food tasted.

I think the only way to lose weight realistically is Weight Watchers. Some of those other diet plans teach how to eat their food, but now how to eat real food. Now there is Weight Watcher's on-line. I don't have to worry about going to meetings and paying weekly. You pay a monthly fee and have access to all of their on-line tools.  I can use Weight Watcher's mobile on my smartphone. Now there are less excuses for me.

So here I am. I have been using Weight Watchers online off and on for the past year.  In that year, I was more off than on. I hit many roadblocks and when I hit them I tended to eat.  I am what is called an emotional eater.  I don't have to be hungry to eat. I could be sad, happy, frustrated, or annoyed. All of those feelings could, if I let myself, cause me to overeat. I am the heaviest I have ever been and that does not make me too proud of myself. I have more aches and pains and my clothes don't all fit right, etc. However, I know that I am a good person and that, above all else, is very important. When I look in the mirror, especially naked (Egads!) I look horrendous.  Therefore, I try not to look in the mirror from the chest down. I still see it in my face, but it is not as bad as in the rest of my body.

There are many disadvantages to being overweight, besides needing bigger clothes. For example chairs with arms are usually very uncomfortable. Folding metal chairs aren't comfortable to begin with and when you're heavy they're worse.  The driver's seat of the car has that part of the seat belt that digs in to your side while you are driving.  It is hard to paint your toenails. It is hard to pick things off of the floor. I spent the last two years teaching kindergarten and I noticed that during this past year, getting up off the floor was REALLY difficult.

I am not hoping to become thin.  I don't think that will ever happen. I have small, incremental, goals for myself that are realistic, for me.I have been diligently following Weight Watchers PointsPlus system since Monday and have already lost almost 3 lbs.  You might think that is a drop in the bucket, but in my bucket, it is huge. That means I only have 78 lbs more to go overall, but 2 lbs until I'm what I call "under a 10". That means that my weight will be under the closest factor of 10 to where I started. I'm not going to post my weight here. At least, I don't think I will. We'll see what other people think about that.

Being at home alone is hard enough, but tonight I am going to a restaurant and then to a friend's home.  Those two places will be even harder.  I have done my research and picked my entree for tonight. It is a crab house, but I am planning to order shrimp. No hush puppies, because they aren't worth the points.  So, I dread being faced with the menu even though I have previewed it on-line.  Then what will happen at my friend's house. I'm almost thinking of bringing my own diet root beer with me.  Diet Root Beer is satisfying and calorie-free. I know she'll be serving alcoholic beverages. Again, I'd rather eat my food then drink it.

I have discovered that some things about food surprise me. Mayonnaise is fat. Two tablespoons of mayonnaise is a lot. A serving of barbecue sauce is 1/4 cup. That is also a lot.  I bought popsicles, because it is summer and they are 1 point each.  They aren't ice cream, but ice cream is a very dangerous substance to have in my home. Some other foods can not be in my home. One of these is, surprisingly, frosted animal crackers. I am afraid of candy.  I love most candy and that is why I am afraid of it.  However, 3 peppermint patties is a serving. This is AWESOME! Sometimes it is all about the quantity. That is why 94% fat free microwave popcorn is also AWESOME!  I can have a whole bag for 3 points! Yay!

I started water aerobics on Monday night. I have gone twice so far. It meets Monday and Wednesday evenings, but it also meets Saturday morning, so I went Monday and then today.  I love water aerobics!  It is fun and no one cares what you look like.  I am going to try Zumba on Tuesday evening. We'll see how that is. I'm not very coordinated when it comes to dancing, so...It is supposed to be fun, also. I'll try to keep you posted.

I am not heavy enough for surgery, not that I want to go that route anyway, so I know that I have to do this myself. I know that I am capable of a lot of things including weight loss. You know that game show where they want "NoWhammies!". I want "No Roadblocks!"

Tomorrow, I am having a family gathering at a place than I recommended when I wasn't on Weight Watchers. Luckily, they have an on-line meal planner. Then on Monday, I am going to a movie (no movie food, probably) and dinner. I know I'll have to pick a Weight Watchers friendly place and they do exist.